Founded: Feb, 2008
Founder: Rebecca
Description: This is a spot to vent and let off steam...Venting is healthy and normal...Let's let it out so we don't take it out! It doesn't need a story, maybe you just want to drop something off...
Have you ever gottentot he point where "I love yo" becomes an mantra???"I love my son" "I love my son" "I love my son"... because if you don't remind yourself you may forget why you deal with him???? My Lord!!! my 13 year old and i are really just st odds these days. better luck next week I hope!
hi everyone just wanted to let you all know that the kids are home with me they have been since june 11th. the case isn't closed but i don't care as long as my kids are at home i am happy. thank you to all of you that listened and supported me and had faith in me it really means alot to me
Hi everyone... I've been absent for some time and I just wnated to touch base again and wish everyone a beautiful and safe summer with their families!!!! though I am sure we will have much to share and much more to vent about...lol!!! Jennifer I am so happy for you!!!!
Kate, I understand about your g-ma... my mom continues to "sneak" in the pacifier to my 5 YEAR OLD!!!! I've just informed her that she will be the co-pay(or) on the braces...
My grandmother insisted on using baby talk with my son, even though I told her that he hates it. I can now say I've witnessed a two month old rolling his eyes. Also, the pediatrician (that we're finally rid of, yay!) tried to tell me that the baby was underweight, even though another doctor in the same office had informed me of what weight he should be, and he was nearly a pound over that. Watching her backtrack when I corrected her was a little funny.
i wanted to let all of you know that the social worker is letting the kids come in june after this school year is over they will be attending summer school but they will be living with me. i just wanted to say thank you to all of you who helped me through this. i am so happy that the kids are coming home and the social worker told the kids and they are so excited thank god this is all going to be over soon
rebecca i understand where you are coming from. ever since my kids have gone to foster care and i got michael the 3 year old back my older son ryan is constantly fighting with michael not to mention that kayla and ryan when they come to my house on weekends have said a few things they have learned while being in a new school and foster care and sometimes i just want to get a bar of soap and let them know what they just said is not good but i calmly explain to them that what they said is not good and i would like to not here it ever again. Just hang in there rebecca
My 13 year old is really PISSING ME OFF!!!! his mouth is just outta control!!! And he's constantly going at it with his 4 year old brother!!!! AAAGGGHHH!!!!
rebecca you don't sound stupid and this group is called Let it All Out. it's better to talk here and let it out then to bottle it up we are all here to listen and to try and help in any way.
I just need to vent about a most selfish act, on my own behalf. I have a great boyfriend, but someitmes i just need to get over whatever is irking me and he is alwyas trying to fix things for me. soemtimes, he can't and it bothers me to see him go ut of his way to improve my situation.not everything in life that bothers us needs to be fixed, someitmes we just need to get over things...but when he works so hard to "fix" things I feel a little smothered...Sorry if I sound selfish! I'm sure one day I will regret writing this! lol !
Thanks, Jenni. Sorry that you had to experience that type of drama, too. You're right, though. It is so hard to have to keep trying to break down that wall. Life is too hard to have to fight with someone that you are in love with. I just want to be able to talk. There is nothing that we should not be able to talk about.
well all of a sudden my social worker is being nice and offering me help and she told me that if i needed any help she could write referrals. my therapist told me that my social worker's supervisor is watching her now because its been a year and i still have no progress so what makes me mad is that if she would have been like this from the start offering help i would have my kids back. but i went to court last tuesday and the next court date is on my birthday august 12th and that is when it will be 18 months. that is all they give you so august is when i will either have a great birthday present and get my kids back or the worse and lose my kids but i have gotten some great support here and lots of people especially Jen have faith that i will get my kids back. thank you to everyone that has given me advice and i will keep you all posted
hi everyone! jennifer, i was wondering if there was anything new on you getting your children back? i sure hope things are going better. J, i have the same problem with my husband. we have been together almost 7 yrs. and only married almost 1 yr. he was brought up that you deal with things on your own. unfortunatly this makes everyone elses life crappy. tony (my husband) and i have fought many times about this. it took him starting to smoke pot and having an accident at work for him to realize him talking to me is a lot easier and safer. hopefully it won't take anything so drastic for you and your loved one. i know it's totally frustrating, but when you love someone you gotta keep trying to break down the wall.
I am just sick and tired of my significant other keeping things inside until he's ready to blow. Then, instead of telling me so we can solve the problem, he runs to the phone and calls his mom and/or daughter. Of course, they ALWAYS agree with him. I told him before, to keep our business between us. There should be nothing we can't talk about. Even if he felt that he couldn't talk to me about something, why must he run to his family? It's just going to cause bad feelings between us. They're going to think that I'm just a monster. They don't see my side of it, and they don't know him like I do. I am just tired of it!!!!
yes we did get full custody of her. she had to go under alot of therapy though. she's 12 years old now and doing well. she hasn't seen her real mom in around 6 years. her mom is still with real creeps and doesn't even care that she doesn't see her daughter.
what if you decided to live off of public assistance for awhile? that is your right. I really don't think she can dictate the salary you decide will be sufficient for your family. however, it may be easier to land a job now. this way in august you will have an idea of the home structure you want for the children.
i know i'm new here, but in a slight way i know what you are going through. in my 1st marriage, my husband and i had to fight for custody of his daughter. dhs was letting her mom keep her with her stepdad even though a sexual act had happened to her there when she was 2yrs old. we fought for a very long time in the courts and dhs about this. this is not a fun thing to give up, but i wouldn't doubt that dhs won't tell you the same thing, but the internet and cable is pretty pricey now a days. they will tell you to use that money towards child care. trust me i know its hard. but if they know you have them it will probably get brought up. i know it did for us.
i just found out today that my social worker isn't planning on giving them back til august 14 2008 which is two days after my birthday. she added on to what i had to get done in order to get my kids back was now i have to have a good paying job. that was never in the original court report. i did my parenting classes, i drug tested all test were clean of course i moved into a nice apartment i left my fiance and now she added on that i have to have a good paying job i don't know what to do because child care is so expensive. for the 2 kids i have it would cost $1800 a month that is my rent, pg&e, phone, cable, and internet and then some. and the government places that help pay for child care is out of funding at the moment so i feel like i'm just stuck the court report also said that august 14 would be the date they decide to give them back or put them up for adoption since it's been over a year. so what their saying is if i don't have a good paing job by then my kids are gone forever. the funding won't be in the government places like child care council til july so that will give me less then 3 weeks to find a good paing job. i don't know if i can handle this amount of pressure
this weekend i get the older 2 for the weekend which is cool but they said i can get them every other weekend i'll take what i can get. i'll be spending a lot of time at the park
today my theapist asked me why i looked different and i told her i feel different and she said why what has happened i said i have finally met people who i can talk to and they don't judge me and they give me advice. just wanted to say thank you to all of you because since i've been talking to you i actually do feel a lot better and i do have hope
thank god i found this site it's just the kind of support i need. the friends i thought i had i just realized they were using me for my kindness. so i think it is better just to talk to you guys and not worry about anything else. i don't know what i would do if i didn't have a place like this to vent
it is horrible. when i think about how annoying it was when they would fight with each other and now i would give anything to hear that but thanks to you guys i know i will get through this and get my life back on track
thank you both for advice i will look into it. i am going to buy a mini recorder so when she comes to check up on be i will record our conversation so that i'll i have proof of how she is
A few more suggestions...go onto the CAlifornia Children's services website and see if they have anything helpful. For example, in NY we have Access NY which allows us to upload information about families and see which services are available for them (check it out so you can see). Also, make a list of demands for yorself which you think would be beneficial to your family. If you think you may need help with housing, ask for it. when you go to court in April, be prepared. Let them know you have givein this musch thought and are willing to cooperate as long as it also helps you. In April, be sure to request aftercare services. These are services which are provided to families coming out of fostercare and monitor the transition. It helps you to get the things you guys may need, like therpay for the kids. Also, are you working with a lawyer? Family court in Ny provides some free legal advice. The best thing I can tell you is to make yourself aware of what is accessible to you. Use your computer access to learn about cases similar to yours and especially the laws in Cali. Alot of what I see is people not knowing their rights and being intimidated.
i've requested a new worker but i have to have proof that she is against me and i don't have any yet. thank you for listening or should i say reading lol
thank you all for your concern. i live in california. i've had 2 social workers and the first one was nice and helping me get on my feet. the second has done nothing but try and make it look like i'm a bad parent because when i went to court in feb. she wanted the judge to take the other 2 away. so they set another court date for april and if my social worker says the same thing that she thinks the other 2 should be taken then they will take them. the only thing that i am having trouble fininshing is finding affordable child care and a job. i have found the child care council and they will pay for child care but now i have to find a job. but thats the only thing but i don't know why this social worker is so set on getting all my children. she even told me that if it was up to her she would give the other ones back but since i'm going to thearpy my therapist is going to make sure i get my kids back. i'm glad i can talk here since i have no friends or family to talk to. my parents diowned me when i decided to not have an abortion with my first kid.
did they put you in touch woth a preventive worker? many social service agencies are availbale to help meet the mandates of the court...also try asking for a homemaker. These are agency provided (city funded) parent trainers who are put into the home to ensure the child's safety and parent's skills. They are very helpful. If you can make a case that you are willing and open to suggestion and instruction they cannot argue against returning the children. Have you completed your parenting classes? sometimes they need to hear the prent admit that parenting can be overwhelmong. then they begin to help. have you asked about a law guardian? this is a person who works in the court who monitors the childrn when they return. Hope I helped...Hit me up of you need anything!
Jennifer, I understand how angry you must be about them continuing to add more things that you have to do before they give you back your children. When my daughter was 5 yrs, she climbed onto the counter and got into my mother's meds. At the hospital they entered her first name and last name and the computer stated that she had been there two weeks earlier with bruised ribs. They called DCF who came to her ICU room and kicked both my mother and myself out stating that she was being abused. It took me three days to convince them that they were wrong. Finally a nurse on duty rechecked the information and found out that it was my mother that had been treated for the rib injuries after she had been in a car crash. Which is what we had been telling DCF all along. She got a doctor to do x-rays to confirm that Fay had never had rib injuries and I was finally able to bring her home. I know things are hard right now, but I can tell by your writings that you are going to make it through this, and that one day and I pray it's very soon you'll have all your babies where they belong. With you. Also if you can tell me what state you're in maybe I can do some research for you and see how you can get help in solving this.
Take care, keep pushing forward.
i've done everthing they have asked me to do but they keep coming up with more stuff they want me to do. eveytime i think i am almost done and might be getting the kids back soon they come up with more crap. the two that are gone are starting to think i don't want them which is so not true they resent michael because they gave michael back john i had after they took the 3 away so they aren't angry at the baby. i just don't know what to do there have been times where i just want to give up. and since i am doing this alone because their father said he couldn't deal with all of the s**t they want him to do he says he is going to start a whole new life it sometimes seems easier to give up but i did promise my daughter that i was going to fight until i got her back so i have to keep that promise
I am going through a really hard time. i have 4 kids but 2 of them are in foster care. they took 3 but gave one back. i'm fighting to get the other ones back. they took them because at the time i was living in an RV at a trailer park. now i live in a 2 bedroom apartment and i'm getting back on my feet inch by inch but i'm doing this alone with no friends
HI! I formed this group because sometimes, or maybe alot of times, we need to scream and let it out! Healthy venting is a good way to release stress and not take it out on others. Someimtes living life as it's happening can be quite overwhelming! I hope this is beneficial!
