If any of this sounds familiar you probably have children at home.
You’ve traded your Marvin Gaye CD for Laurie Berkner
Your cologne or perfume is so old it’s turned to alcohol
Your sexy silk pajamas have been replaced by well worn flannel
You used to fantasize about stilettos; now you fantasize about mini vans
You used to worry about roommates or parents walking in on you; now your baby seems to have super sonic sex radar and wakes up every time a move is made.
Will you ever have the kind of romantic life you did before children? Maybe not, but in my class “How to Child Proof Your Relationship,” I teach a section on planning for your intimacy after children and I’ll let you in on some of the secrets that the guys especially love to learn.*
First, it’s important to know that if it seems like everything is different in your bedroom now, you are not alone. There are some real biological differences that come into play after kids. If a woman is breastfeeding there are hormonal changes. Greg, a father from my last class said, “After the first baby Lisa had this little person clinging to her body 24 -7. Because she was breastfeeding that whole region was out of bounds and to top it off her sex drive was really low. That was all a big adjustment and I want to know how to survive with the second baby.” After the class, another father commented that by taking this course, he realized that even though it was an ego crusher to have his overtures rejected again and again, their situation was normal. “While my friends might not be talking about it, I know their sex life had dwindled too.”
So what’s a guy to do?
Theo shared that he had learned to invest time into non sexual affection for some big paybacks. “In order to feel close to me, my wife needs real quality time and contact that we often don’t get during the week. If we can spend some time together I know that things will look up over the weekend.” Theo is right; another typical biological difference in men and women is that women tend to need to feel emotionally connected before they can feel like getting sexually connected while, ironically, men feel connected as a result of a sexual connection.
Kyran shared that a surefire way to put her in the mood was to come home to a clean house. “When my partner takes the initiative and does all the things that need doing, I can relax and when I am relaxed, I feel more open to sex.”
It’s true what they say, a man mopping is an aphrodisiac.
* The next Child Proofing Your Relationship workshop will be held in New York City on Sunday evening June 22nd. For more information visit www.babymaven.org
Is There Sex After Children?
If any of this sounds familiar you probably have children at home.
Will you ever have the kind of romantic life you did before children? Maybe not, but in my class “How to Child Proof Your Relationship,” I teach a section on planning for your intimacy after children and I’ll let you in on some of the secrets that the guys especially love to learn.*
First, it’s important to know that if it seems like everything is different in your bedroom now, you are not alone. There are some real biological differences that come into play after kids. If a woman is breastfeeding there are hormonal changes. Greg, a father from my last class said, “After the first baby Lisa had this little person clinging to her body 24 -7. Because she was breastfeeding that whole region was out of bounds and to top it off her sex drive was really low. That was all a big adjustment and I want to know how to survive with the second baby.” After the class, another father commented that by taking this course, he realized that even though it was an ego crusher to have his overtures rejected again and again, their situation was normal. “While my friends might not be talking about it, I know their sex life had dwindled too.”
So what’s a guy to do?
Theo shared that he had learned to invest time into non sexual affection for some big paybacks. “In order to feel close to me, my wife needs real quality time and contact that we often don’t get during the week. If we can spend some time together I know that things will look up over the weekend.” Theo is right; another typical biological difference in men and women is that women tend to need to feel emotionally connected before they can feel like getting sexually connected while, ironically, men feel connected as a result of a sexual connection.
Kyran shared that a surefire way to put her in the mood was to come home to a clean house. “When my partner takes the initiative and does all the things that need doing, I can relax and when I am relaxed, I feel more open to sex.”
It’s true what they say, a man mopping is an aphrodisiac.
* The next Child Proofing Your Relationship workshop will be held in New York City on Sunday evening June 22nd. For more information visit www.babymaven.org