my son ryan is 7 years old and right now he is in foster care but i will be getting him back in a few weeks. he's been gone for about 18 months. the problem i have with him i have had before he was taken. at the moment if he wants something and i tell him no he crys and then stomps off and hits the wall or throws stuff he does the same thing when his brothers and sister don't share their toys with them or if he doesn't get his way. i don't know how to handle this i don't spank cause i don't believe in spanking. i have already taken his playstation away and he still acts up. i hoping that maybe when he gets to come back home for good that maybe he will calm down. but if anyone has any advice on how to solve this issue any help would be very appreciated.
Talk to his foster parents and see what has worked at thier home. Keep in mind that transitioning home is going to be a process for all of you. Spend more time praising and assuring all of the kids that you love them and you will all get through this. They may have fears about being left alone or being alone in a room and other behaviors they did not have before they were removed. Take advantage of family therapy if CPS offers it. In fact, ask about it now. A good therapist will help you and the kids as they move home.
Jennifer, I don't know what circumstances led to your son being placed in foster care, and I wish you the best upon his return home. However, I must admit that I feel this is a really serious problem if he's been away for 18 months.
I know of a really wonderful man named Dr. Lou Tenaglia. Look him up on the web. He's a seasoned educator and may be able to help you either personally or by recommending someone in your area (he's in PA).
Please know that most of the internet information about Lou describes his involvement in spiritual guidance as well as holistic living. If that's not your thing, don't let that scare you off... he's really down to earth. Good luck.
The only thing that I could suggest it time out. You give him one warning telling him if he doesn't stop, he will be going to time out. If he continues or does it again, then it's off to time out. When he does something that you so not approve of, sit him down against the wall away from anything he could throw. he will scream, hit the wall and do everything he can to get you're attention. You need to ignore him. The important thing, is that he stays there. You leave him there until he calms down. Once he has, you ask him to tell you why he is in time out. It is important that he tells you for it to work. This way, he will know that what he has done is not OK.
This is far from easy to deal with, because it will drive you crazy looking at him scream. But, if you want it to eventually stop, you have to be consistent. One warning, didn't listen, then off to time out. Every child is different, so I can't tell you how long it will take. It could take a week or several months. But, it does work. He will eventually realize that you are the one that is in charge and not him.
