My four-year-old son has taken to name calling. He's not using bad language, just coming up with variations on the word "-head" (i.e., "you're a doodoohead", "you're a cerealhead", "you're a monsterhead", etc.) And he's doing this constantly, despite us explaining why calling names is bad, getting timeouts, having his current favorite toy taken away, etc. Anyone else dealing with this?
i dealt with this for a bit. reverse phycology. that's what i did. it sounds crazy, but when i started to call my son a banana head, it wasn't fun for him anymore. it worked on mine.
Yeah! My four-year old is also doing the same thing?!, except everything he says has poopy and pee pee attached to it, like "I love you, poopy and pee pee!" What's that all about???
I have a 3 yr old that does the same thing and what i've found is timeout,punishment from other things just doesnt wrk but i also disagree with Pamela.My 3 yr old started calling names because she heard my 8 & 9 yr olds doing it to one another and now because someone older has done it it seems right what we do is put on an act like it really hurts us pretend to cry and stuff then when she comes to comfort us we say see how much you hurt our feelings you don't want us to make you cry so please don't make us cry it seems to be doing the job now she stops half way through a name and says i sorry i didn't mean it
Here, Here! We are also in this phase. We either ignore it or turn it around on him, calling him the same name he is calling us. Sometimes it works, others not.
Yes, my son is doing the same thing. I tell him that unless he says that he is sorry and stops talking naughty, I will not listen to him. I then ignore the behavior and he eventually stops. The next time he asks me for something (every 5 minutes) I ask him if he is done talking naughty, if he says yes, I just reiterate why he should not call names. I cannot wait for it to stop all together but I know it takes time. Good Luck.
Heck Yeah!!! I am "Barnacle Head" and my dad is "Banana Head" and his brother is anything he feels like saying "Head"...Usually, it's in jest. But if it's something hurtful, I give him an example of a good name, "Honey" "My love" etc. I don't really think of it as a bad behavior, more like a playful behavior. Is he saying it when he is angry? or just whenever? maybe try to identify the mood. Sometimes we use names too, at least I do. I will call my kids silly goose, or peanut, or anything silly. If you do it, then let him do it when the time is right...
Pre Schoolers are all about testing limits and looking for reactions. It’s their developmental task to explore their world. Parenting is all about deciding which battles to fight as they explore. Sounds like you’ve been clear about why his choice isn’t ok and now it’s a question of how un-ok are you with his choice? The most important thing is consistency. You and your partner need to be on the same page in your decision to set a limit or ignore the name calling and you should have a discussion when he is not around about your game plan.
From a behavioral prospective, your son is getting some reinforcement for the name calling. He gets a reaction and that is reinforcing his behavioral choices. If this is behavior hits a core value for your family and you need to stick to setting a limit make sure he gets a short clear message no more than 4 words that this is not ok and then remove all reinforcements including your attention. The behavior will get worse before it extinguishes so you have to be very consistent.
My opinion is that this is normal age appropriate exploration and to get out of the power struggle, find a fun way to channel his wish to name call. Let him know that name calling can hurt people’s feelings but that right now it seems like his favorite game and you know he’s just being silly. Sing a rap song or make up a story with all the “head” names the two of you can think of. This diffuses the emotion from the issue and takes the power out of it.
yes i know that it is hard trying to stop him nut keep on trying he will stop. try to teach him some possitive alternatives. for one thing some one must have taught him those things and if someone is saying things like that around him and they have to stop. he had to get it from somewhere. so don't stop telling him that it is wrong to call people names don't laugh at him, mean what you say, be thankful that it is not worse, he will eventually stop. keep trying.
I have dealt with this many times as a mother and currently as a grandparent. This is normal tho not pleasant behavior in children. Giving it too much attention makes the behavior seem more fun. Negative attention is sometimes more important than positive attention. Try distraction and praising when they don't use the name calling.
All three of my kids have gone through this. With my first two we did all the same things you have done with no luck.When we did not acknowledge when they did it it was like the fun was gone.With my youngest we pretended our feelings were hurt even faking to cry and she would say sorry and eventually she stopped. All kids go threw the doodyhead phase. they think its fun to put any word with head..I hope this helps
We went thru it also. It seems to be a stage that they all go thru at some point. We just kept talking and taking away toys and tv, he eventually stopped. It lasted about a month and then everything was back to normal(whatever that is at this stage).
I've found that this will never go away. My girls are 9 and 12 and they still from time to time will come up with names for my husband and I. I think its more an expression of independance. They are just trying to see how much they can get away with. Its kind of like the excitement of the unknown. Once they know it doesn't affect you in such a way that they get attention it'll taper off and eventually go away. Hope this helps
I know it's aggravating as my 4 yr. old son does the same thing. However, he has come up with much worse due to older siblings. I pretty much let him know that I don't like it and it's not appropriate, but have found the more I tell him I don't like it, the more he does it. If I ignore it, he stops...go figure?! :) So, have gone to telling him once and then ignoring it as he already knows how I feel about it and he's not getting any more attention for bad behavior. Hope this helps. :)
As frustrating and sometimes exausting as it may be, being consistant by telling him it's inapropriate and putting him on time outs, it will eventually sink in.
It is a phase kids go through. If you ignore it, it will go away. Children like attention. They will get it any way they can. Taking the attention away takes away their interest.
mine 2 boys went thru the same thing well one of them is still doin it and as long as you keep reminding them it is bad the will stop soon enough hope i helped u some
Children learn a lot of things by watching tv, even if they are cartoons or educational shows sometimes there are things on these shows that parents are not aware of. I was watching Tom and Jerry the other day with my husband and we were both surprised that Tom and Jerry now talk. In the old days they didn't. In this particular cartoon we were watching Tom was smoking a cigarette and He asked a mouse "What are you looking at", the mouse responded "At you Stupid". Those are the things that children pick up by watching cartoons even if parents are not aware of what is going on in them.
My advice would be to sit and watch some of the shows your son watches and see if he is picking these things up from these supposedly "children's programs"
no im not having this yet but i have the temper tampering of im not a baby im a big girl i can do it my self and i do mean temper she will stand there and draw up her fist and scream @ the top of her lungs im not a baby,sounds like u r alreay doing everthing possible from takig away toys timeouts, what about corner time kids hate noses in the corner, no tv, no video games if they have 1.
